If Only

“If Only” – CHOSEN | Summer 2016
Two years ago today, I graduated. Believe it or not, I managed to make that long grassy walk up to the stage without tripping. I grabbed my diploma and shivered as the announcer said my name.
Still, I shook the hands of principals and faculty members who never cared to know my name and continued to walk down the long white carpet in rhythm with the boos of peers who never quite liked the way it tasted in their mouths. After the glare of a thousand eyes passed to the next girl whose name was called, I realized something. It was over.
I sat there in that crowd of 3,000 people who were crying at the thought of leaving high school, of leaving their friends and relationships. And all I could do was finally breathe. Years of being a zombie to the same routine, of waking up to the same ruthless people, of walking down the same bare halls, of seeing the same vicious eyes and hearing the same hateful words. It was over. Finally, over.
Every time I am asked what advice I would give to the teens who struggle day in and day out in junior high and high school, my answer is the same… Hang in there. There is an entire world outside these gates that seem to wrap more around your soul than your school. And I promise you, it is really truly beautiful. And its people can be really truly beautiful. And when you get out, please, BE one of those really truly beautiful people.